Tuesday, June 10, 2003 :::
Definitely calling in sick to work tomorrow. My reason?
I haven't done a fucking thing today.
Well, I did approximately 45 min of actual work, which was then, and still is, being followed by 7 hrs 22 min of staring at a computer screen doing nothing, save for getting really pissed when I found out Colin de Land is dead, eating an entire pack (that means 6) granola bars, finding out my sister is on anti-depressants, getting a hateful little message from an acquaintance, something I'm still trying to figure out, allowing my mind to further shred and destroy whatever is left of my seemingly good idea, getting into an argument with an under-educated and over-coiffed sales clerk, trying not to think about sex (not enough cash to shell out for a bathhouse, to lazy to go trawling), realizing I'm out of gin (see money problem above), and vodka, and whiskey, and scotch, and wine, and that Lebanese concoction that my friend brought back (liquorice, dill, and trout??), that however I was more than happy to see go down the drain, being that I would often arrive home at 5 am looking for a night cap, see the bottle and think "I don't remember it being that bad", getting angry at the nosy fucks that I work with, which only further cements my hatred of the suburbs and all that spill forth from them, wishing some people were much more active in my life, hell, wishing some of them were still in my life at all (confidential to no one: I can't complain, I drove them away), wondering what it is about me that screams PROVOKE, aside from when I bring it on myself, duh, generally wondering what the hell brought me here and why haven't I done anything about it for past 2 years, wondering what kept me from looking back before...
I'm ending this stream now.
I'll be on stool #3 at Sneaker's!
::: at 5:45 PM
Seen on walk to work today:
Scrawled on wall of department store
Foreplay? Like changing positions?
::: at 12:06 PM
Monday, June 09, 2003 :::
Other fun moments:
-Realizing that the guy you've been bashing the fag-rapper to, is the fag-rapper's best friend.
-controller.controller, so fucking good. I would say to buy their album, but they don't have one, yet.
-Tangiers on the other hand, do. Buy it, I know what their tabs are like.
-I am officially sick of hearing about roomate issues. Especially when the person doing the complaining makes no attempt to remedy the issues, due to strange guilt/OCD thing. This also stands for unemployment issues. Sure it's hard to find a job right now, even harder when you're NOT EVEN LOOKING! Or you're only applying for jobs that you're grossly under-qualified for, yet you still try to maintain this obnoxious "I'm not going to settle" veneer, despite owing $2000 in back rent, having weekly breakdowns, and driving your friends fucking crazy! You may not want to settle, but that collection agency sure does.
-I shall also in NO-FUCKING-WAY support any relationship that is celebrated by the month. By celebrated, I mean actually celebrated. The full champagne dinner, gifts etc. Although I guess I should be somewhat impressed they could focus on one thing for this long. Well, I would if it weren't for the fact that I know what they really get up to. Call it what it is, even if one of you can't spell it.
-Oh, and a warning to the lesbian couple that fight underneath my window EVERY fucking night. I have a bladder just aching for you're next visit.
::: at 12:29 PM
When the guest list line is only half as long as the regular line: Bad, 'cause there are still 60 fucking people in the guest list line!!!
Bandmember that put you on the list feeling bad about the fact that you missed half their set while waiting in line puts you on his tab for the night: Good/Bad
Wierd girl following you around for most of the night rambling off names of people you've never met, apparently trying to impress you, then fuck you: Bad...herpes-bad.
Meeting currator who realized after announcing his position, that you really didn't give a fuck so he apologized, bought you a couple drinks, then gave you his phone number and a kiss: Good Fun
Watching very gay, white boys trying to rap: Alchohol-poisoning-B-A-D.
Lil' Kim look-a-like, with attitude to match: *WORK*
Fashion (fasc[ist]ion) students with the same fucking military jacket, All-Stars, and 70's bangs:Funny..no, wait..bad. Well, both.
Over worked bartender never once charging you full price for your doubles: Eye-crossing Good....or bad?? Have I told you how much I love you...
Ending up at a cruise bar: Bad.
Having the smarts to leave cruise bar...alone...for a change: Confounding!!
::: at 12:02 PM