Friday, May 23, 2003 :::
What religion is right for your complexion?
Also answers wether or not it's "fashionable and spiritual to shave my pussy?", the answer...
::: at 4:18 PM
From my Inbox, May 23, 11:05 am:
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Oh my God! I'm getting mail from Chewy!!!!! *squeeeel*
::: at 11:15 AM
Thursday, May 22, 2003 :::
Roleplaying killed the TV star:
So I'm enjoying a little late in the day newsread, when...
-OOOooooooOOOOOOooooo (half owl/half coyote kinda deal)
-What do you think you're doin!!!
What the fuck? So I scurry over to the window to see what exactly is transpiring. I check the street below...nothing...listen again
-You gotts....you gottta.....heeeeyyyyy!!!!
Apparently James Brown was kicking the shit out of Bigbird, or coming on to him, or both...but where?
-you get over heaaaarrryaaaa!!!
About one floor below me, some poor muppet was getting a lesson I'm sure he'll never forget.
-Now get on over here.....heeeeeEEEEEYYYYY!!!
(I'm only speculating here, if joyously)
Rampant images are running through my head, childhood memories are being tainted at an alarming rate as I run through the entire cast of Sesame Street, The Muppets, The Feebles (okay that wasn't childhood, but if you've seen it you'll understand the conotations), and to a lesser extent-Mr. Roger's creepy fantasy puppets, all being defiled just out of my gaze (probably for the better), leaving me to choose where exactly Elmo wants the nipple clamps.
You know that movie where a man marries one of his sheep, sends her to a shrink (he thought she was cheating on him, I think?), but then the shrink starts having an affair with the sheep, and they show that shot of the sheep on the couch in the lace teddy? Now, whenever someone says "baaaahhhhh", you picture a sheep on a shrink's couch in a black lace teddy? Yeah, well I'm not going to Toys R Us anytime soon.
::: at 3:47 PM
Cela s'est passé. Je sais aujourd'hui saluer la beauté.
Translation: I am a magnificent bastard!
::: at 2:45 PM
Wednesday, May 21, 2003 :::
How to find me:
faggot+insults, faggot+picture, and finally faggot+picture+sex (all from the same person, I think we've got a convert! Hosannah!)
...and you assholes say I need some continuity? Talk about the pot calling the kettle beige.
::: at 4:58 PM
I am currently prancing around reciting that ad nauseum, trying out various accents for the Walrus. Germanic/Austrian has great puncutation points to it, but the Thai just wasn't working. My Bulgarian is just plain wrong, I sound like Dietrich after a stroke, and the Irish is far to sing-songy. This puppy needs some bass to it, straight from the gut, save the oysters, who are totally transgressive as Japanese school girls.
(caffeine intake thus far: 6 cups and counting)
::: at 12:56 PM
"I weep for you," the Walrus said:
"I deeply sympathize."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.
"O Oysters," said the Carpenter,
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?'
But answer came there none--
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.
::: at 12:45 PM
I'm sooo not aiming for justification anymore, being that I have a tendency to shit all over it like a rabid coyote marking his territory. I'm buying a bad wig, a caftan, getting Ms. Gooch and running off to Myanmar to help fund the rebels.
::: at 12:25 PM
Tuesday, May 20, 2003 :::
I'm trying to be jovial here, but it just isn't working that way today. I don't exactly have much of an explanation, save for some wierd truisms some friends have been spouting at me, and the fact that a large part of the population of Toronto suddenly wants to know what makes me tick. I'm not even talking constructive criticism, just alot of people setting traps for me knowing full well that the outcome ain't going to be pretty.
I'm fine with being a minority of a minority, being that a large portion of that has been self-imposed. I'm getting the outside thrust now, though, and I can't say that I'm reacting all that well. My friends have been privy to more than their fair share of late-night ramblings, but I found that even they seem to be taking on a rather odd approach to me. Rather than the arguments and discussions that we've had in the past, it's only vague proclomations that are really starting to grate at my nerves. I don't need all the details, but a simple heads up would suffice, you assholes!
::: at 5:18 PM
Hey bub, how 'bout that beer and nescafe?
::: at 1:17 PM